i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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