Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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