I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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