We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
