and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
