i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Randomize
