one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
