I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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