Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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