I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
