JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
