I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
