Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
That reminds me...we need to get swords
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Randomize
