saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
