i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
