me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
