i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
