I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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