My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize
