I wanna bring you to show and tell
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
