All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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