Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Never underestimate the power of titties
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
