I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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