Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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