My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
