Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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