is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
that's an acceptable place to lick
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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