When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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