My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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