just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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