she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
