I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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