can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
