jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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