i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I need to calm my uterus...
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
