she looked like the before picture.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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