so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
