If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
