I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
