so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
