Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
