I cockslap morals
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
