then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
