We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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