Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
