What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
