Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
