You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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