chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
