There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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