What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
