Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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