my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Someone signed my nipple.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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