Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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